The 25th of January
by Missthirdward
Summary: Alicia dies, Will awakes one day to find that he Is back in time; a month before her passing. Will he fix things before it's too late? LONG ONE-SHOT. Warnings relating to death and heavy depression.


**A/N: I had written this quite sometime ago and then 5x15 happened... So the other day it popped into my head and I went over it again. Very long one-shot set in 5x13. The events after the episode have none whatsoever to do with this one shot. Consider it to fade off into it's own Universe. Please review!**

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He woke up with the same nagging headache that he had been experiencing every morning for the past 4 weeks. Yes, it's been exactly a month since that horrible car accident that took place down state highway fifty one. The road that took his _everything, _took his heart and soul. Finding out that the love of your life died in a car accident through CNN was probably not the best alternative, no, that was the worst, he'd never want to bring that type of heartache on anyone.

_It _all happened around the end of February, the roads were icy, winter was slowly fading away and the smell of her familiar scent was still, somehow, placed on his pillows. He hadn't known why, after all, the last time she slept in his bed was somewhat of two years ago but on this particular morning it was vivid, and it brought a migraine to his senses. He figured maybe Isabell had the same perfume as _her_ but then he remembered, he broke up with Isabell weeks ago and his house keeper washed the sheets a few days ago so that was impossible. Now when the memory crosses his mind he often thinks it was some sick sign sent from above, informing him that today, _your worst enemy but also the woman that you are madly in love with is about to die. _He's never been one to dwell on God and it's significances but now, every time he sees a preacher, a bible, a fake angel he's reminded of her smile. He's reminded of the morning in bed when she told him that she didn't believe in any of that quote 'stuff'. He's reminded of her precious daughter and her eulogy she did at her own mothers funeral, the tears she shed and the prayers she shared amongst the room whose eyes were blood shot red.

Kalinda's, Eli's, Peters, Cary's, even Diane's, they all in some point shared a few genuine tears except for _him. _He didn't do anything, except sit there, take in his surroundings and ignore what anyone had to say to him. He sat and monitored, listened to each one get up and talk about some candid, heartfelt story that just made everyone laugh or cry even more. All the while, his eyes never left her coffin, her photo and the beautiful smile that came with it. _"My mom is… was… probably the best human being that I have had the greater knowledge of knowing" –Grace started "She was unbelievably strong, with every obstacle she had endured in life she made it through like a true warrior. I only hope that one day, I will be half as great as she was as a parent towards my children. Then maybe, I'd finally gain the knowledge of becoming at least half the great woman she was. I know that she is with god and that she is looking down on us amongst her loved ones waiting for the rest of us." _And then she went on about god and Jesus and then eventually convinced the rest of them to join her in a prayer. He can't really remember much afterwards, just those particular words that stroked his heart, she was a great mother, a great person and a great friend. Even after all the shit that she put his firm through, she was still a _good _person. But he doesn't think about that anymore, dismisses the time when he screamed at her face. _"Stop it, I don't like it when you're weak!" _Scumbag. That's what he calls himself these days, scumbag, coward, bastard. He knows his father would be disappointed in him.

He now knows what pain feels like, _real _pain, not the type of pain where a knife plummishes through your body or the type of pain you endure during a bone injury but the sort of agony one experiences once one's heart is ripped out. That's probably the best way to describe it.

He dresses somewhat okay in his Calvin Kline dark blue suit, he remembers it as her favourite and he smiles. He notices that oddly, he doesn't look pale anymore, he also notices that it's much colder outside in the Chicago chilly air than usual. Like a cold January's morning except as far as his mind can reach, it's the end of March, isn't it?

He switches the Television on expecting to see some stupid news report about the latest political drama with Obama and the economy which seems to be the world's news loop at the moment but instead, the broadcasts main focus seems to be on the Christmas holidays and some old woman pulling down Christmas decorations off her large brick house. _It's a little late to be pulling Christmas decorations off your house isn't it lady? _He thinks to himself but then his eyes land on the date circled on the television in the far corner of the screen beside the time printed on CNNs display screen. The 25th of January, the number triggers him to wince, considering the 25th of February was the date_ she _was pronounced dead. That number will always stick into his head. But then he realises, January. It's January, Two months before the date that he was originally aware of the night before.

He moves to the calendar out of curiosity and snatches the page when he takes in the fact that the current date is circled on Tuesday the 25th of January. His heart begins to pound, he suddenly thinks he's being stupid, it's just a coincidence, really, maybe he just forgot to switch the calendar but then he switches his phone on only to see the current date laced in capital letters on his display screen. He suddenly thinks the above is taking pleasure in his anguish, wonders if the constant nagging migraine is a result of the constant turmoil of _her _death in which is his own personal demon sent from above, or god or whatever. Just as he's about to stroll through his contacts to see if _her _contact is still there his phone vibrates and a text message from Kalinda pops up. _"Lemond Bishop Is having legal problems again, says he needs you and Diane to meet him at the courthouse this morning alongside Florrick Agos"_

And suddenly his heart begins to pound as he realises what _this _means. In _his_ universe a week ago Cary merged firms with Louise Canning, in order to maintain their clients, Agos, Canning and Associates. That's what it's called, but he notices that through this thick awful world, the universe has turned on him. Made him suffer a months' worth of indescribable pain only to wake up one day and find that maybe, just maybe _she _isn't completely gone or maybe fate is just playing with him and it was some horrible dream. He texts Kalinda immediately. "_What's the date?"_

-and she replies with the same answer that he grasped off the calendar, replies with the answer that he had been anticipating all along.

His mind is blank as he drives to the offices, passes each silver car and peeks through each window to see if it's her but to no avail she's nowhere in sight and he begins to think that he really is losing it. His breathing increases with each step he marks towards the elevator and once he reaches inside its small convertible he glances in the mirror and takes in the sight of him. Pale, sweating, and a horrid mess.

He walks into the lobby of his law firm and once he reaches his office, he slams his office door, waltz into his bathroom closing the door before splashing cold freezing water on his face, through his hair and along the nape of his head, getting rid of the heat circulating through his upper veins. He breathes in deep breaths. "The 25th of January" he mumbles as he gazes into himself through the mirror. "Alicia" he whimpers.

He and Diane arrive to the courthouse on time and as he walks into the courtroom he spots his client sitting beside that short grey haired man that Will can't even remember the name of. But more importantly he searches for her in which she's nowhere to be seen and he feels himself fidget but stays still. "Are you alright?" Diane asked curiously as she noticed him fidget in his seat and he stared at her quizzically before nodding his head indifferently.

"Don't worry Mr Bishop, Mrs Florrick will be here any minute, I talked to her yesterday" –the short grey haired man said and Will felt his heart beat faster. It was the first time anyone talked about her this morning and he suddenly knew that he was right, it is the 25th of January and Alicia is alive and everything is going to be okay. No more car accidents, no more funerals and bad dreams of trucks holding gallons of gas smashing into silver beautiful expensive cars like hers. He feels like trembling right then and there until he hears the doors open and a pair of familiar heels clicking against the tiled floors.

He looks up and is struck by her beauty, he had forgotten what she looked like over the past month until now. All the memories of those early mornings when he watched her sleep come flooding back into his mind. Her smile radiant's the entire courtroom causing Will's eyes to linger over her perfect body. _You're alive -_he thinks to himself. _You're here, you're alive and I love you. _

But of course he doesn't tell her those things, they're still supposed to be on the wage of war and he's still supposed to hate her but he can't, not after the past twenty nine days that he's just experienced. "Sorry I'm late" her dazzling smile lights up the room and his mouth drops drooling as he stares at her. He gathers himself as he takes note in Cary staring at him suspiciously from behind her form probably noticing the way Will is now staring at her. He watches as Cary's gaze leaves his turning back to Alicia and distinctively places a hand on her back as if he has some sort of protectiveness over her, shielding her from the eyes of Will Gardner and Will feels like standing up and punching the shit out of him for even _touching _her, as if Cary thinks he has the right to be defensive over her. _You've only known her for five minutes buddy, I've known her half my life. _–Will thinks to himself but doesn't say anything and instead turns his gaze back to Diane who's now staring at him suspiciously also. _Great. _"Will, are you sure you're alright? You look sick and flustered" she touches his forehead in that motherly instinct and he carefully pulls away. "I'm fine Diane" he shrugs it off and turns his eyes back to the judge except his attention is on nothing but her form from his peripheral vision.

It's only about halfway through the hearing that he can't stand it anymore. Her smell is everywhere, her soft voice echoes through his head each time she talks and when she moves to the stand to examine the witness his eyes linger along her brunette hair and her body and the suit that covers it like a glove. It's when she moves to sit back down Diane whispers something behind his ear informing him that they're struggling, that they need a better witness and that's when he stands up abruptly, bolting for the nearest door. Before he grasps the opportunity to call Howard Lineman he searches for the nearest trash can and pukes out his previous meal from last night and the coffee that he consumed this morning. Flat white, _her _favourite.

Once the hearing is adjourned Diane alongside Cary and Alicia find Will's head face down into a trash can, coughing out what's left in his digestive system and he feels a hand on his shoulder and for a moment he thinks it's _her_, hopes it _her_ but he turns to see Diane staring at him fearfully and from the corner of his eye he sees Alicia standing nearby, worry etched through her features. "Will, are you alright? Maybe you should go home, I can take over from here" –Diane proposes and he nods grateful of her offer before standing up and seizing the tissue that she offers him.

"Do you want a drink?" Cary says as he steps out of nowhere with a bottle of water in his hand. Will ponders on his question, thinks maybe the young boy spat in it or did something pathetic but then realises that he's not that immature. After all, that's probably something Will himself would do. _Scumbag. _He calls himself, because it's true.

He takes the bottle of water gratefully and offers a hesitant smile before downing the sweet clean liquid down his throat. He takes in from the corner of his eye Alicia stare at him sadly, almost as if she wants to say something comforting but then she realises that she probably doesn't have the authority anymore, except, in his mind he's just urging her to say something, anything, really.

They make their way towards the elevator and oddly, the atmosphere among the four is no longer awkward but instead switched to tiredness. Tired of fighting, tired of the snarky comments, tired of mocking laughs and insensitivity except Will is no longer privy to all of that. He's forgotten what it's like to be mad at her and in substitute can only remember the previous nights of crying himself to sleep and screaming towards the horrible dreams of her lifeless body laying in the middle of the road with scent of gas in her nostrils and flames surrounding her form. Insomnia can sometimes be a bitch.

Her cell phone rings amongst the elevator ride and he's suddenly grateful that there are more than six people in the small compatible because then it would be one hell of an awkward ride.

"Grace Sweetie what's up?" he feels his heart pound faster as she speaks the name of her daughter because he knows that in another life there was a girl called Grace who cried at her own mothers funeral, there was a girl who created a sweet eulogy between her careful sobs that will forever remain in Will's head.

"Yes, I'm just leaving right now, why? Is there something you needed?"

"Grace I told you, I'm going to Springfield _today, _I can't go next month, we talked about this" –and suddenly he tensed. Springfield? Springfield was where she was traveling to before the accident. This can't possibly be happening.

"If you could come I would take you but you have that stupi… that cool campus faith hill trip thing on the 25th of each month for the next three decades" she said exaggeratingly making him smirk.

"Because I'm your mother and I said so" she replied into the receiver sternly

"I'm leaving soon so if you need anything…. No no no, you cannot fire a gun!" she shot through making the smile on Will's features grow even wider and Diane furrow her eyebrows confused as she stared at her through her glasses.

"I said you could fire one with a professional, not on a hunting trip!"

She sighed deeply before shaking her head in exhaustion. "Okay, Grace, I gotta go, will talk about this when I get back from Springfield"

She chuckled "Yes, I'll send you some pictures of the house, bye, love you." His mind was running wild, she was leaving for Springfield today, and in no doubt that was the reason god gave him some sick chance to relive the tragedy, just on a different day. He wonders if this is going to happen every month on the 25th, she's alive one month and the next she's dead.

"I thought you were leaving for Springfield _tonight?_" Cary's question brings Will back to the present.

"Yeah, I'm leaving early, get a head start on the traffic" she explains before the elevator doors open letting each one walk out on their own except Will remains as close to Cary and Alicia and their conversation as possible.

"Okay well, safe travels, see you Thursday morning" Cary waved out leaving Alicia to walk out to the back of the courthouse towards the car park. He caught her look over her shoulder as if searching for someone, and then her eyes landed on his and that's when she knocked into someone. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" she said as the attorneys files flew everywhere making him laugh.

"Finn?" he caught her gaze down at the guy in front of her and watched the wide smile spread across the blue eyed man's features. He suddenly recognised him, Finn Polmar, he attended _her _funeral in the _other _universe and was apparently a long-time family friend.

"Alicia!" he exclaimed before pulling her into a tight hug making Will cringe at the way he held her.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" she laughed as they let go from each other's embrace and she helped him in gathering his now strewn papers.

"I moved here a couple of weeks ago, what are you doing here?"

"I live here" –she chuckled

"Oh right, how could I forget, queen of Chicago right?" he giggled and she rolled her eyes amusingly

"We should catch up someday, grab a coffee or something" she suggested and Will watched Finn nod with eagerness.

"Sure, I'd love to. It was nice seeing you Alicia, really, it's been years and by the way, you're still as clumsy as ever"

"Oh shut up" –she tapped his shoulder playfully and that's when Will's stomach started to really turn.

"Okay, well I have to go but I'll call you sometime, you have the same number?" he asked and she nodded

"Yep, and I'm really sorry by the way" –she giggled. "I was a little…..distracted"

"It's fine, don't sweat on it, it was nice seeing you Alicia" he waved happily towards her and she returned the same gesture before hastily walking out.

There was no other way to it, he had to follow her and confront her about everything, insist on the real reasons of why she left Lockhart Gardner, of why she blew up their friendship. He also had to try and stop her from leaving as well but with Alicia's stubbornness he knew that probably was a long shot.

"Alicia!" he shouted as he reached outside and caught her just reach her car.

She whipped her head around, her hair flying with its movement and the expression on her face was one he expected. "Will?... Uh, was is it?"

He jogged the rest of the way towards her figure and as he reached her his eyes landed on her car and felt his stomach turn. He caught a glimpse of himself through the mirror and even the sight of him made him feel queasy. He stumbled on his feet a little and caught her furrow her eyebrows worriedly. "Will?... are.. are you alright?" he could tell she wanted to touch him, try and comfort him but she kept her distance.

"I.. I'm fine. I need to talk to you"

"Ah… okay, what is it?" she asked and the tone of her voice, the softness in it made his heart slow down with every beat. He stared into those beautiful green eyes and for a moment he felt like he could see his soul through them.

"Why did you leave? Lockhart Gardner?" he paused and caught her open her mouth, unable to speak before shutting it again so he continued. "And tell me the full truth, not some crap about wanting to start your own business, tell me the truth Alicia, I deserve to know that, at least"

He watched her sigh before leaning against the car and grasping it for support. "Are you really doing this Will? Now?"

"Yes!" it came out more harsh than expected but he needed to get it out, needed her to know that his persistence was nothing more than a mere crave of her to stay here, in his arms, forever.

"Will, please.. don't, I can't" she shook her head and he noticed her voice crack with every sooth notion in her syllables.

"Answer the question Alicia"

"Why are you doing this Will?"

"Answer the damn question Alicia!?" the shock in her face was evident but he couldn't help it, he needed to know, if not today than there was a possible chance that it could be never.

"Fine" she mumbled before taking in a deep breath. "I think you know why I left, that's why you're here right?" she questioned and he nodded.

"I have an idea, but I want you to say it, confront it, instead of leaving it for another day that could possibly never happen, I want to know the truth"

He watched her gaze around the car park, taking in its emptiness before facing back and noticing the tears pooling in her eyes, making its colour glimmer. "I left because of you" she whispered but it was sharp as anything to his ears and he felt his heart sink.

"I left because I couldn't deal with it anymore Will, and I know you know what I'm talking about. The longing stares, the brief touches. How long did you suppose we could deal with that before we ended up in bed together? I can't make a marriage work when I'm in love with somebody else, that's just impossible"

-"You're in love with me?" he interjected, shock clear in his features and watched her face turn slightly red before sighing in exhaustion and shaking her head.

"I don't… _Yes_, but I don't know, my mind is just an absolute mess" she threw her hands up in the air. "And I'm sorry, truly sorry for the pain I've caused any of you Will, believe me, that was never my intention. I'm just trying to do what's best for everyone and right now, I think what's best for you and Diane is that I stay away, for good." He felt his heart rip into a million pieces as he took in her words and it was ironic, talking about keeping her distance wherein for the past four weeks that's exactly what transpired and it wasn't exactly _best for everyone. _

She stepped back only to open the back door and threw her briefcase in before gently opening the front door and making eye contact with him alongside his speechlessness. "See, that's what I was afraid of, averting what I have to say, remaining quiet because you're somewhat of astonished right?. The last thing I wanted was for you to hate me Will, really, but maybe this is for the best you know?"

-"You just told me you love me Alicia!" he gaped in utter shock making her features die hard

"You just told me that you're in love with me but yet again, you want to keep your distance? What the hell does that even mean?" he felt all anger in his blood cells but he also felt relief, relieved that they were finally having the conversation that he had been anticipating for so long.

"It means that by me leaving it gives you… both of us a chance to move on, it gives me a chance to let you go" –she sighed and shook her head before staring out into the car park avoiding eye contact with his.

"I can't keep doing this Will" she sighed and he felt his heart sink again as he took in her words until she continued. "I can't keep hurting you like this, pulling you in only to push you away when things get too difficult. It's not fair to me and it's definitely not fair to you. That's why I left" she shrugged.

"I'm trying to make my marriage work, for my children's sake and I can't do that when your continuously there, whether it's in the next office from mine or sitting next to me in a conference room, do you know where I'm coming from?" she questioned softly and every feeling conveyed in her eyes was enough for him to _finally _understand, comprehend the real reasons.

He nodded bewildered informing her that he understood somewhat of her reasons and that's when she released her grip on the door until he grasped it and stood between her and the driver's seat. He watched her furrow her eyebrows quizzically before eyeing him up and down as if wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

"Okay, I do understand and I respect your decisions even if I don't entirely agree with them but that doesn't change the way I feel about you" he said and watched her wide her eyes in shock before opening her mouth dumfounded and closing it once again.

"And _if _you do love me, if there is a slim chance that you still care about me, you won't get in that car and travel to Springfield and you'll come home with me" he watched her gape at his statement before eyeing him up and down as if there really was something wrong with him making him feel somewhat of insecure.

She scoffed in puzzlement before staring out towards the building and searching for any sign if this were all real. "I can't believe this is happening right now" she whispered to herself and shook her head bewildered.

"Why are you doing this Will?" she turned her head so that they were facing each other again and he furrowed his eyebrows confused. "Where is this coming from? A week ago you couldn't even stand to have a decent conversation with me and now you're telling me to come home with you? Forgive me for my ignorance but I am beyond confused at the moment"

"I'm doing this because I don't want you to get in the damn car!" he shouted and absorbed something like recognition form in her features before scoffing in fake laughter.

"Who told you?" she said sternly and the bafflement in his features was clear.

"Was it Cary? no, wait Kalinda right? God, I told her not to tell you"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Springfield!" –she shot back "My moving to Springfield in three months"

The wave of realisation hitting him was clear as anything in his features making her recognise her mistake.

"You're moving to Springfield?" her gaze shifted from his to the ground avoiding the look in his eyes. The shock and tears that seemed to be forming in them and she felt her heart sink, she was hurting him once again.

"Yes" she whispered sadly and his face fell.

"Because of me?" he questioned and she popped her head up almost offended.

"No!" she shook her head. "No, Will, it has nothing to do with you, I just have to sort myself out"

"And by moving away you think that's going to solve everything? You can't keep running away Alicia, nothings ever going to get solved if you keep following in the same pattern you are now. I know you have kids and you're married and you probably have trust issues especially with me, bearing in mind that we're not exactly on the best terms but I want you to just, -picture the next five years of your life, where do you see yourself?" he asked and it seemed as if it were the easiest question but to her it was impossible to stretch out an honest answer.

She shook her head and tried to declare any sort of syllable, but to no avail her head and her heart clashed once again. Will continued. "If it's with _him, _if you really do love him then go to him, go to Springfield" –he really couldn't believe he was saying these words himself.

"But if you see yourself miserable and living in an unhappy marriage then forget about it. Forget about Peter, forget about Springfield and come home with me"

"And what about my children? Forget about them too?" she asked but this time there was a softness to her voice, a clarity in the depth of her words.

He shook his head and puffed in frustration. "No! I'm not asking you to give up your children Alicia, I'd never ask anything of that, I'm just trying to give you perspective here" he paused and waited for her to respond but to no avail she remained silent so he continued, his voice returning back to its previous softness.

"I want your children in my life just as much as I want you but I'm trying to channel your head right now because it seems to be running a million miles." –he smirked. "Please don't get in the car" he pleaded and watched her sigh before rubbing her eyes in exhaustion.

"I need time"

He felt his heart rip, that's until she continued. "I think we both need time" –she reiterated. "I'm not entirely sure of what I want Will, I'm conflicted, I'm confused and I feel lost. I feel empty, half of the time throughout the day I have no idea what I'm doing, I have no idea why but for some reason I feel like someone has ripped my heart out and taken pleasure in the pain I'm feeling at the moment and the worst part is, I don't even know what's caused the hurt. Maybe the…. scandal but that was years ago. I'm just trying to deal with this head on and I appreciate the fact that you're _here _opening up to me about your feelings and maybe one day I might return the favour but for now I just need some time alone because in all honesty, I really have no idea what I want"

He was momentarily stunned by her words, absolutely struck in some sort of parallel universe as he took in the depth of her declarations. When had she learnt to be so mature in using the most well fitted, appropriate words? He only wished that he ensured that form of skill but then he remembered Alicia was like no other.

"So if you're eager to learn what I want, step out of the way, let me get into my own car and give me time" she looked into his eyes and he noticed for the first time that she was pleading so that's what he did and with every small step he took to the side he felt his feet clench and his heart rip with every movement. He really couldn't believe that he even had the strength to move but he did and was immediately disappointed in himself. But she was too stubborn to recognise the pain in his eyes and the pleading for her not to _drive _but nevertheless, like the typical _Alicia _who he is so fond of, she listened to her own tuitions and feelings and went with what she wanted which was to leave.

He only realised as he reached his vehicle and heard her car drive away that this was probably going to be the last time he was to see her. _Coward,_ he calls himself.

He drove straight to his apartment afterwards and threw his belongings on the floor before slopping down onto the couch and running his hands through his hair. He wanted to cry or scream or throw a tantrum but oddly he found that he had no energy for any of it but instead sat like that for next hour with his head in his hands and his eyes closed, dozing off to sleep. He jumps into the shower and switches the water onto cold temperature, tries to dismiss her silhouette which appears in his mind every few seconds. Her dazzling smile amongst his white satin sheets or her brunette hair splayed out against his pillow. Her loud out of character laugh which is the best piece of music to his ears. He slaps his face back to reality as he nearly passes out in the shower and suddenly, painfully, realises that he's never going to hear that beautiful laugh of hers ever again. _Asshole, _he calls himself because it's true.

He chucks on a pair of old jeans and a simple white t-shirt, not bothering to dry out his hair because he knows it wouldn't make a difference and then suddenly the thought of her hands roaming though his hair appears and he has to slap himself back into reality. He drinks a half a gallon of juice, knows that it's a waste because he'll probably puke it all out in the morning once he finds out through the television that-

It's the first thing he's consumed anything in the past five hours since Cary offered that drink of water and then suddenly Cary's face bolts into his mind. Cary's red cried out eyes displayed at none other than her funeral-

His doorbell rings and he wonders who the hell would want to disturb him at this time in the afternoon, thinks that she's probably on the road by now, hitting Springfield for her little overnight trip and then he thinks she may have hit that road again-

He opens the door looking like shit and _she _bolts straight into him causing him to stumble slightly on his feet. He's immediately hit by a wave of her unique smell and recognises the fact that no one will ever hold the same smell, not even Isabell. He thinks maybe he's dreaming, that her ghost has come to visit him but as she wraps her arms tighter around his shoulders he knows that it's real, and he smiles.

"I'm sorry" she mumbles into his chest and he digs his nose into the curve of her shoulder, closes his eyes and inhales, feels water form in his eyes but holds it in for the sake of his masculinity. He wraps his arms around her slim waist and rubs his thumb along the soft fabric of her blazer, admires the short pencil skirt that she's wearing, enjoys the fact that her stilettos are a few inches higher than her actual height which makes her face to face with his.

He holds her as if she's about to disappear, fade out of his arms like sand. She pulls back slightly from his chest and hesitantly cups his face with both her hands. "I _want _you" she answers. "I know what I want, I _want _you and I'm sorry it's taken me this long to realise"

He swallows thickly before grinning like an idiot making her chuckle at the sudden wave of happiness amongst their proximity. She wraps her arms around his neck and clashes her forehead against his, closing her eyes and taking in the aftertaste of everything. "I thought you were going to Springfield?" he said softly, careful not to disturb the silence and he watches her as she blows air between her face and opens her eyes to reveal it's beautiful green and hazel texture. It glimmers and he thinks he can see himself through it.

"No, I decided to go home first, on the drive I thought thoroughly about what you said and then when I got home I asked Peter for a divorce, it's amazing what a drive on the road can do" she chuckled.

Her words slice through his heart like a sharp knife and he winces but he's grateful that she doesn't notice because she digs her head back into his chest and hugs him tight, so tight that it makes his stomach hurt. He kisses her head numerous times and brushes strands of her hair behind her head. He feels whole again.

They're lying on his bed fully clothed with her heels scattered somewhere along the floor and she has her head rested on his shoulder with her arm wrapped around his chest whilst both his arms are wrapped around her tightly. He runs his hands along the side of her waist and strokes the fabric of her soft cashmere clothing. He's always loved the texture of her clothing, loves anything on her.

"So…. how did Peter handle everything?"

"As usual" –she shrugs "Shouted his way through everything, demanded the truth, threw in accusations. By the end of it I just walked out and left him standing in my kitchen yelling after me"

"And the kids?"

"They're with my mother, I'll talk to them tomorrow" he could tell by the way she tensed that she wasn't looking forward to the conversation with her children and he placed a soft kiss on her forehead before cupping her jaw so that he gained her attention.

"You don't have to go through this alone, I'm always going to be here" he said making her smile tenderly before pecking his lips with a soft kiss. "I know" she whispered back before snuggling back into him and drawing small patterns on his chest.

"What's this all about Will?" she asked amongst the quietness making him furrow his eyebrows confused.

"What?"

She propped her head up so that her head was resting on the pillow beside his but kept her legs entwined with his. "We haven't exactly talked in the last three months and now we're here so tell me, what made you talk to me this morning?"

She watched him sigh before staring towards the ceiling and playing with her entwined hands. "I had a dream you died" he could see from his peripheral vision her eyebrows furrow quizzically and her eyes fall in concern.

"And then I woke up and you were alive" he felt her hand travel up his chest towards his shoulder rubbing imaginary patterns along it. "It was just a dream Will"

He shakes his head and turns his head so that he's facing her "No" he replies firmly. "It was much more than _just _a dream, it felt real"

Her eyes fall tender for him and she snuggles closer into his side while both their faces are fronting each other. She gazes into his eyes and smiles hesitantly. "Do you want to talk about it?" she questions hesitantly and he lightly shakes his head.

"I can't even bear thinking about it let alone talk about it" he admitted and she furrowed her eyebrows curiously. It all made sense now, why he had been acting strange this morning, why he had been gagging his guts out in the trash can. She figured he probably had the dream sometime last night and it made her heart stop, to think that he had a dream of her dying and then woke up the next morning without _her _beside him and to an empty bed instead.

"It must have been a pretty scary dream" she grins, tries to throw in some humour but of course it doesn't work because his smile falls making her all the more concerned.

"Scary is an understatement" he replies

"How would you describe it?" she questions softly and runs her top hand through his hair.

He closes his eyes as he feels her soft touch runs through his scalp and he relishes in this moment, hopes for more moments like these in the near future because for the past month he's been craving for them like a vampire who craves for its substance. He's not quite sure if she understands how much she means to him.

"It was…. Horrible, more along the lines of unbearable but I think this pays for the agony" he smiles and sighs as he feels her fingernails scrape around his ear.

"Hmm" she hums in approval and moves over to gently kiss his cheek.

"Is there anything else in mind that you think can heal the pain?" she smirks making him chuckle before opening his eyes and facing hers.

"You're insatiable you know that?" –she rolls her eyes exaggeratingly making him laugh even more.

"Can we just lay here, for a while" he suggest and takes in her beautiful wide smile. She nods her head and shifts her body so that her head is resting on his chest, listening to the slow pounding of his heartbeat. He feels her draw patterns on his chest with her finger and he knows that in another world he'd probably be laying in this exact bed, alone, and thinking about what could have been if she'd-

He shake's the negative thoughts away from his mind and takes in the present, the comfortable silence that fills the room, the way her heartbeat pulses against his side and the way the sound of her breathing echoes in his ears. He recognises it as probably the best piece of music known to mankind.

She tilts her head up and kisses his jaw before yawning in tiredness. "I love you Will" she whispers before closing her eyes and resting her head on the pillow beside his. He turns to the side and pushes a strand of hair across her cheek bone. "I love you too" he says before gently pecking her forehead. He pulls back only to see her heavy eyelids closed and a smile playing on her lips.

He savours this moment because he knows the next few days are probably going to be the hardest with the divorce and her kids and every other obstacle stopping them from being together but he doesn't care, as long she's living and in his arms ninety percent of the time he's fine with all the chaos her life is about to bring him. Looks forward to it.

He watches her sleep throughout the night, eyes twinkling in love and his lips forming a smile at the way her chest puffs up and down, the way her eyes twitch as she dreams. The way her nose produces a small breathing noise and her voice hitches in a slight whine from deep down her throat. He loves her, absolutely, frustratingly, madly in love with her even through the past of her leaving his law firm, stealing his top clients and stabbing him in the back, he's come to the realisation that through all the clutter and chaos that operates in their day to day modern life there's nobody else in the world that he'd rather spend the rest of his life with.

That next morning he wakes to her head rested on his shoulder and her fingers drawing small circles along his abdomen, he gazes down, shifting his head slightly only to gain her attention and she smiles up at him, sweetly. "Did I wake you?" she questions softly and he lightly shakes his head as a response.

"No, in fact, this is probably the best sleep I've had in months" he says it because it's true, even though he's merely slept at least five hours, this time his heavy eyelids actually closed for once rewarded by awaking to her in his arms.

She kisses him awake and eventually they agree on pancakes as something to eat instead of eating each other. He notices her body ache in slight pain as she shuffles out of the bed in her work suit from the day before, slightly creased by the way she slept, likely curled up into his arms. He offers a shower first, throws her the smallest pair of track pants he can find and eventually she begs him to join her into the steamy bathroom of his in which he complies, without much restraint.

Later on he's accompanied by his flat screen TV in the main room, can hear _her_ talking to her children on the phone in the background and that's when all senses of any other noise around him fades out and the only firm sound audible to his ears is the reporters voice through the television and the footage that resonates through it.

_"__Yesterday amongst the late afternoon of Chicago a horrific road incident took place on state highway fifty one in which a car and an oil truck took collision causing both vehicles to detonate due to the amount of gas the tank was carrying triggering the death of both passengers. The first vehicle reports to have held a woman in her late forties who was believed to be traveling to Springfield to visit her family, the driver of the truck alleged to be an elder man traveling through Chicago to a nearby gas station. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of Meredith Alexandra and Michael Smith at this tragic time" _the voice of the woman's fades out as she begins to talk about the statistics of car accidents taking place in Illinois but by then Will is completely dazed out, until he feels a firm hand slip on top of his shoulder and turns to see Alicia staring towards the television shaking her head in pity.

"That's horrible" she comments sadly. "I can't believe such an awful thing like that can take place in a matter of minutes" she shakes her head once again and then gazes down at him noticing the expression in his eyes. As if he's just seen a ghost but in substitute looking like he's the happiest man in Chicago.

"You okay?" she questions out of curiosity and he nods hesitantly before pulling down near his lap.

"Yea, I'm just happy you're here, that's all"

She chuckles before cupping his face and leaning in for a soft lingering passionate kiss. "I'm happy to be here too"

"I love you Alicia" –he says out of the blue and even if each time he says it, it makes her heart skip a beat, especially bearing in mind the fact that it feels so normal, so natural, it doesn't stop the curiosity fill in her features.

"I love you too" she phases out more like a question and takes in the lovingness that fills in his eyes. Decides to leave the curiosity for another day when the discussion approaches, after all, she's already had one hell of a hectic time period in the last 24 hours, her and Will both and with their feelings and emotions laid out bear like an emotional bed spread she's more than willing to go through all the chaos her life is about to endure in the next few months in order to be wrapped around his strong arms towards the end of each day.

"Pancakes?" he questions and she nods her head eagerly.

"Pancakes it is then" she grasps his hand and entwines it with his as they walk towards the kitchen with smiles as wide as Jupiter, blissfully happy.

THE END


End file.
